Here's a joke for you:


Laughter is the best medicine!

Unless you're treating diarrhea.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

How NOT to tell a joke:

“Stop me if you’ve heard this one!”

“Wait! Wait! I’ve got a joke! Give me a second! Here goes!”

Never announce your jokes. But be ready when you have the opportunity to tell a joke.

Jokes are best when we are fooled into thinking that the joke teller is just adding a regular comment to the conversation, or sharing a true anecdote.

None of us owes anything to the joke teller. If you’re not ready, if you don’t know your joke by heart, we’re not going to laugh. We’re not your mommy. Be ready.

Don’t laugh and prepare your audience. Don’t tell us when you’ve reached the funny part. We’ll laugh if it’s funny.

Don’t over-explain the set up or the punch line. We’re smart enough to figure it out.

If we don’t get it, or if we don’t think your joke is funny, then drop it. Don’t try to rescue your joke. Sometimes a joke becomes funny when it bombs, and the teller forgets it as if he never said anything.

Don’t tell your joke like a crazy person. Funny is sane. Jokes are best when told as if they were gospel fact.

Practice with the following joke. Change so that it’s about someone you actually know (invent someone). Don’t say that it’s happening to “some guy” or “this guy”. Or you can even say that it’s about you. Change the place to some other place that could be a lonesome, boring place to live. Change the marriage part to taking in a roommate. Change it up and make it work:

A man hears from his doctor that he has cancer and only has six months to live. The doctor recommends that he marry an accountant and move to Montana. The man asks, "Will this cure my cancer?" "No," said the doctor, "but the six months will seem much much longer!"

Friday, January 27, 2012

A new way to promote my speaking.

I've created a facebook page just for my speaking.

You Must Be Joking! Facebook page.

I'll be talking about all my speaking on this page.
There will be FREQUENT jokes,
And updates on my weight training,
And new insights I learn about TEACH A MAN TO FISH.

Since this page is all about joking, here's an old one, but a good one:

A man isn't feeling well, so he goes to see his doctor. The doctor examines him, and then asks to speak with his wife. The doctor tells his wife that her husband has a serious, stress related illness that is quickly killing him. The wife asks "can he be cured?"
The doctor replies "there's a chance we can cure him with chemotherapy, but you will need to take care of him every day for the next year -- cooking all his favorite meals, pampering him, making sure he has no stress or responsibilities around the house. You need to give him back rubs, and let him just sit and watch his favorite shows on tv. Never argue or disagree with him. By doing all this, you’ll save his life." When the wife comes out to the waiting room, the husband asks her what the doctor said.
The wife answers,  "he said that you're going to die".