Here's a joke for you:


Remember:

Laughter is the best medicine!

Unless you're treating diarrhea.











Thursday, November 24, 2016

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Stories about Western Outlaws!

Butch Cassidy
Matt Warner
Elzy Lay
Harry Longabough

Bad men who made their mark on western pioneer culture.
Heroes or villains?

One way or another, the left great stories.
Outlaw stories are some of my favorites! And audiences seem to agree.


Here I am in front of the bank that Matt Warner and Butch Cassidy robbed in Telluride, Colorado.
It was their first bank robbery.


This is the home that Butch Cassidy's father built in Circleville, Utah, after Butch had left home to follow the outlaw trail.



Here I am by the cabin near Circleville, Utah, where Butch Cassidy lived as a boy until he left home.




And here I am telling stories about the Outlaw past.


Saturday, October 29, 2016

A year for Story Telling!

Hello!

If you're looking for a story teller, I'd like to share a few thoughts with you


I'm Darrell Mangum
I'm a member of the Utah Storytellers Guild.
I tell GREAT stories!


I specialize in stories about the wild west, 
stories about western outlaws,
stories about early settlers and pioneers.


I tell fun stories about family life and relations,
and I tell humorous stories, (really funny stories)
And I give talks about joke telling and how an improved sense of humor can improve your communication in work and social settings. (really fun!)



And finally,

I tell ghost stories. Really great ghost stories. (that'll kill ya!)

Email me here for more info:

dinutah@gmail.com







Thursday, June 30, 2016

Here's a few new jokes for you:

What do you get when you cross a horse with a donkey?
A mule.
What do you get when you cross a highway with a pogo stick?
Run over.
__________________

My mom has become addicted to watching "Dancing with the Stars".
We're forcing her to enroll in a two step program.
_________________

A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore.
His wife watched with admiration, pleased with the amount of work he had done and anxious to get him to do some more.
"Have a nice soak in the bath and I'll bring you some lemonade," she suggested smiling.
"Good idea," says the husband looking forward to being waited on.
He sits in the bath for a while with his nice drink. After a while she brings him his bathrobe and tells him she’s got the bed all made up for him so he can take a nap.
"If there's anything else you'd like just call," says the wife as she leaves the bathroom.
When she got halfway along the landing the husband relaxes completely and lets off an enormous long and loud wind.
Moments later, the wife comes in with a fluffy bed warmer and a rubber container.
"What the heck is that for?" asks the husband snappily.
"Oh Darling," says the wife, flustered, "I thought I heard you say, "Whataboutahottawaterbottle."
______________

I went to see my dentist because I had a concern.
I said to him, "I have yellow teeth! What do you recommend?"
He said, "How about a brown tie?"
___________________

A guy on a tractor just rode past shouting, "It's the end of the world!"
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
_________________

A divorce lawyer asked a woman who had come to visit him, "Tell me madam, why do you want to get a divorce?"
The woman replied, "My husband treats me like a dog."
The lawyer asked, "Does he mistreat you? Does he hit you?"
The woman replied, "No, he wants me to be faithful to him."
__________________


I went into the local pet shop and told the sales girl I wanted to buy some gold fish.
She asked me, "Would you like an aquarium?"
I told her, "I don't care what their sign is."




Sunday, June 12, 2016

The first story telling experience!



It was really amazing.
Perfect day for a fair!
It was raining all day. The Kaysville Arts and Music in the Park fair went forward anyway.
So there weren't many people out and around. But we had a nice kiosk tent, and people were crowded in there, listening to the story tellers.
I went on at 5:00, and I told two stories. I'm going to post the video here later. I told a story about Butch Cassidy, and I told a story about my own kids.
People seemed to connect with what I was saying, so I'm excited to see where all this will lead.
Does this mean that I won't be giving joke seminars anymore? Does this mean I've given up my quest to be funny?
FAR FROM IT!
My stories contained LOTS of humor, and I know that future stories will be even FUNNIER!
And I am pursuing new Joke Seminar venues.
Please stay tuned!!




Saturday, May 21, 2016

And now for something completely different!



Recently while presenting one of my seminars on joke telling, I met some very nice people from the Utah Storytelling Guild.
They pointed out that much of what I do is story telling, and I should be a part of their organization.
I thought that sounded great!
So I investigated, and found my local chapter.
Last Thursday I joined the Farmington Bay chapter of the Utah Storytelling Guild.
I'm already enlisted to participate.
I'll be telling a story at the
Kaysville Arts and Music in the Park,
Saturday, June 11, at 5:00 pm.
I recommend you come hear all the story tellers! It's really a fun experience.
Here's all the links you need:

click here for UTAH STORYTELLING GUILD





click here for KAYSVILLE ARTS AND MUSIC IN THE PARK





Sunday, April 24, 2016

Here's what's happening next!

On Saturday, May 7th, at Noon, I'll be presenting my joke telling seminar again!
DON'T MISS IT!
We're going to have a blast!
It's all in conjunction with the promotion of my book, You Must Be Joking.
It's FREE on Amazon Kindle right now!

click here for You Must Be Joking!

Come ready to participate, we're going to tell LOTS of good jokes!

------------------------------
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
--------------------------------------
I think a lot of the conflict that happened in the Wild West could’ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
-------------------------------------
You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
-----------------------------------
How many skunks does it take to change a light bulb?
A phew.
---------------------------------

I'm so excited spring is here, I think I'm going to wet my plants.



Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Holy crap, it's free!

Holy crap, it's free!
Yes, in honor of my recent television appearance (thank you thank you)
I'm offering my book, "You Must Be Joking" TOTALLY FREE OF CHARGE (for five days) (ebook from Kindle)
Get it while it lasts!!!
You'll find 13 chapters of joke telling instruction, and around 600 wonderful jokes that you can learn, tell, and collect.

Act now!


And since all you jokers are being so nice, 
here's a great joke for you:

Bob frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag door prize is given out. One week, Bob is presented with a toilet brush.
''What the hell is this?'' he asks the pastor.
''Why, it's a toilet brush.''
''Ooh, I see,'' says Bob.
A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Bob how the brush is working.
''Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper.''


Saturday, April 16, 2016

Here's the tv spot!

Take a look at segment I did with Brooke Walker on Studio 5!

It was so much fun! The whole staff on that show is SO COOL!

You Must Be Joking on Studio 5!




Friday, April 15, 2016

Wow. Just Wow.

Brooke Walker!
I'm a fan.
Having the opportunity to be a guest on Studio 5 was a REAL KICK!
I appreciate the chance to share my stuff.
I met some wonderful people, and had a lot of fun!
Our upcoming seminar at the Bountiful Library was mentioned.
Saturday May 7th at 12:00 noon.
It's going to be great!!!


Anyway,
IT WAS GREAT TO TALK ABOUT HUMOR AND JOKES ON TV!!!!!

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

BREAKING NEWS!

I know so little about television!
So.
My interview segment on Studio 5 with Brooke Walker,
Will be TAPED tomorrow (Thursday)
AND...
Will be AIRED on FRIDAY, the 15th of April, at 11:00.
It will still be great.
Sorry for any confusion I may have caused.

Studio 5 with Brooke Walker



Thursday, April 7, 2016

Lots of news today!

Are you sitting down? First. On April 14th, at 11:00 am, (Thursday)I'm going to be a guest on Studio 5, with Brooke Walker! Wow! What will we be talking about? Well, my book, AND TWO UPCOMING JOKE TELLING SEMINARS!
The first will be Thursday April 14th, at 6:30 At the Sandy library. 10100 Petunia Way, Sandy, UT
The second will be Saturday May 7th, at 12:00 noon at the Bountiful Library.
Stay tuned!



Here are the new jokes you were looking for:



I remember the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
---------------------------
A Spanish speaking magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three.
He said "Uno, dos"
 *POOF*. 
He disappeared without a tres.
---------------------
I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick. She's still not talking to me.
---------------------------
I broke up with my cross eyed girlfriend.
I thought she was seeing someone else.
--------------------------
Capitalization can really change a sentence. For example:
I love to eat candy.
I love to eat capitalization.
------------------------------
Bubba tells his friends all about his new Thermos Jug. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold".
“So what do you have in there?” They want to know.
"Hot stew and iced tea."
-----------------------------
This hillbilly is traveling down the road when a highway patrolman pulls him over.
"You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asks.
"Bout what?" the hillbilly replies.
---------------------------------
My boss says he's going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I've got a hunch it might be me.
------------------------------
Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on the broom.


Thursday, March 3, 2016

Let’s do it again!

On March 23rd, at 6:00 pm, I’ll be speaking at the Whitmore Library in Salt Lake.
2197 Fort Union Blvd.
It’s going to be great!
We’re going to tell lots of jokes!
And we’re going to talk about HOW to tell jokes, and how NOT to tell jokes.
We’re going to talk about how proper joke telling can help you improve all the communication you use every day.

Come prepared to participate! We’ll have lots of fun!


“My wife is feeling better after getting her appendix removed. Unfortunately, she will never be able to reference this chapter of her life.”


Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Joke Telling Seminar was a success!

Everybody had a great time!
I'll be posting video and pictures soon.

Until then,
Here are a few jokes to celebrate the occasion.

Don't repeat this one:

A famous artist was at the height of her career when she began losing her eyesight. She went to a very famous eye doctor for treatment. After a delicate surgery, her eyes began heal and her eyesight improved.
As a demonstration of her thanks, the artist when to the doctor's office and painted a gigantic eye on the wall of the doctor's waiting room.
The press caught wind of the story and wanted to interview the doctor.
"How does this lovely painting in your office make you feel?"
The doctor rubbed his chin and raised an eyebrow.
"It makes me thankful I'm not a gynecologist."
----------------------
A man went to his doctor because he was sick. The doctor did a thorough exam, and when he looked in the man’s ears, he saw dollar bills, folded very small, and stuff neatly in there.
He began to carefully extract the money with a pair of tweezers. First one ear, and then the other. It took more than an hour.
"Do you realize that you had one thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine dollar bills stuffed in your ears?"
"Ah! That must have been it! I knew I wasn't feeling two grand."
-------------------------
A man went to his doctor and said:
"Doc, can you help me? I can't stop sleepwalking."
The doctor went to a cabinet and took out a small box and gave it to the man.
"Are these sleeping pills?" He asked.

"No, they're tacks. Spread them around on the floor around your bed."


Thursday, February 11, 2016

Welcome Jokers!

Welcome to all who are looking for information about my Joke Seminar coming up on Wednesday the 17th at the Kaysville Library! Be there at 6:00 and bring the family!
Tell all your friends!
Any questions?
Ask away!
And share a joke if you've got one.

If you don't have a joke, we've got plenty here!


Friday, February 5, 2016

Check out my Kindle countdown deal!

Here's a link to visit if you want a DEEPLY discounted copy of my book!

You Must Be Joking!

I'm offering this deal in conjunction with my upcoming talk at the Kaysville Library in Utah, on Feb. 17th at 6:00pm.

It will be LOTS of fun, and there will be LOTS of audience participation.

Tell all your friends!



Also,

Look for the story about my talk in the Davis County Clipper!

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

New jokes for February


What's the best side of the cemetery to live on?
The outside.

--------------------------

Two guys are walking side by side down the street. One of them sees a mirror on the ground, grabs it, looks at it, and says, "This guy looks so familiar, but I can't remember where I know him from."
The other guy grabs it from his hand, takes a look at it, and says, "It's me, you idiot!"

-----------------------------

When is the only time you're justified in slapping your mother in law in the mouth?
When her mustache is on fire.

-----------------------------

My doctor wants me to change my eating habits and try vegetarianism.
But I'm not sure I can give up cold turkey.

-------------------------------

Bill was in his office, struggling with an account. He asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, less 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."

---------------------------------

Bob had taken seriously ill. To make things easier on everyone, his bed was moved to a corner of the living room. One evening Bob turned for the worse so Susan sent for friends and relatives to come over and gather around his bed.
Bob: "Susan, are you here?"
Susan: "Yes Bob, I am right here."
Bob: "Stevie, are you here Stevie?"
Stevie: "Yes Dad, I am right here."
Susan: "Bob, we are all here gathered 'round your bed. Here’s Jenny, and here’s your mother."
Bob: "Well, if you're all here; Why is the light on in the kitchen?!"

----------------------------------------

A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre.

So the bartender gave her one.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

If you could learn to tell a joke.

You might think you already can tell a joke.
I guess I understand that. I can play “chopsticks” on the piano, so technically that means that I can play the piano.
But let’s not fight over opinions.
What do you stand to gain if you improve your joke telling skills?
All communication is structured just like a joke. You have a premise, and you have a set up, and you have a payoff. In joke telling we call that a punch line.
Sometimes people tell a joke and it fails. It’s not funny, or the audience doesn’t understand the joke. Why does a joke fail?
The joke teller doesn’t know the joke well. He or she isn’t prepared. The joke teller tries to use too many words. The joke teller doesn’t trust the audience to understand. The joke teller confuses details and muddles the set up.
And finally, the joke teller doesn’t deliver the punch line well. Maybe the joke teller doesn’t really understand the punch line. Maybe the joke teller doesn’t understand the variety of ways the punch line can be delivered. The punch line and even the setup could have been delivered with subtlety, or enthusiasm, or quickly, or slowly, or with seriousness, or with wackiness.
Each joke is deferent, but each joke requires practice, and needs to be delivered with the right mixture of the previously mentioned flavors of delivery. And the joke teller must be very familiar with the joke.
Isn’t this formula the same when you are presenting any kind of information to any kind of group or person?
You need to be familiar with your information.
You need to tell your audience the premise of what you are about to say.
You need to lay out the setup of your information without too many words, and in a manner that your audience can follow and understand.
You must engage your audience with enthusiasm, or seriousness, or speed, or calmness.
And finally, you must deliver your point in a manner that ties everything together and shines a light on the point you are trying to make.

Now, learn to tell a joke, and the next time you’re called upon to deliver another kind of presentation, you’ll have the skills to really make an impact.

And while you're at it, here's a great resource for you:

 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0175OJZFY



Sunday, January 17, 2016

Upcoming presentation on Joke telling!

Do me a favor and plan on joining with me on February 17th at the Kaysville library in Kaysville Utah, at 6:00 pm for an evening of great jokes and great joke telling instruction!

For those of you outside of the area, the presentation will be filmed and posted as soon after as possible!



Wednesday, January 13, 2016

"Iffy" jokes

I heard these jokes recently, and I thought they were both really stupid.
But I can't stop thinking about them, and I can't stop chuckling when I do.
What does that mean?
Check these jokes out, and tell me what you think.
----------
Jeffrey bought something he had always wanted – A horse.
But the horse didn’t seem to have much energy, so Jeffrey took the horse to see the vet.
“This horse is very old.” Said the vet after examining Jeffrey’s horse.
“Oh no! Will I ever be able to race him?” Asked Jeffrey.
“Yes!” replied the vet, “And you’ll probably beat him!”
--------------
A guy just told me he had his appendix removed five years ago.
I asked him, “Have a scar?”

He said, “No thanks, I don’t smoke.”


Remember Bugs Bunny?

Bugs was ALWAYS joking around at the expense of others.
Things were especially funny when other characters DIDN’T understand the jokes Bugs made.
How did Bugs react to people who didn’t “get it”?
He would lean against something, a wall or a tree maybe, and he would stare at his victim while loudly eating his carrot.
Then he would say,
“What’s up, Doc?”
What’s up? That’s our question. That’s what we’re trying to ascertain when we tell someone a joke. Will they laugh? Will they groan? Will they be confused?
We must, in turn, react to our audience just like Bugs Bunny would. Whether they get it or not, we calmly munch our carrot. Okay, you probably won’t have a carrot when you tell a joke. But don’t be anxious. It’s a joke, it’s not a secret nuclear launch code.
If your audience doesn’t laugh, or groans, don’t exhibit any reaction at all. They will be left wondering if they really understood your joke at all.
That’s an advantage for you.
If they don’t get it, that’s PRICELESS. Stare at them. Stare in the direction they’re looking, as if trying to figure out why they don’t understand. Snap your fingers in front of their face as if trying to wake them. Blow in their ear, as if you’re checking for a pilot light.
The possibilities are endless and HUMOROUS!
And finally, if your audience DOES get your joke, and if they laugh,
QUICKLY TELL ANOTHER JOKE!

The second one will go over even better than the first one did!


Friday, January 1, 2016

Jokes and one liners for New Years Day!

Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid!
-------------------
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
----------------------
"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!"
-----------------------
I looked through a book called "50 things to do before you die". I was sure that "shout for help" would be one of them.
----------------------
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
---------------------------------
A guy goes to the doctor.
Doctor: What's the problem?
Guy: I think I'm a moth.
Doctor: I'm a cardiologist. You should be seeing a psychiatrist.
Guy: I know that.
Doctor: Then why did you come here?

Guy: Because your light was on.