I remember the last thing my grandfather said to me before
he kicked the bucket.
He said, "How far do you think I can kick this
bucket?"
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A Spanish speaking magician told the audience he'll
disappear on the count of three.
He said "Uno, dos"
*POOF*.
He disappeared without
a tres.
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I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of
chapstick. She's still not talking to me.
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I broke up with my cross eyed girlfriend.
I thought she was seeing someone else.
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Capitalization can really change a sentence. For example:
I love to eat candy.
I love to eat capitalization.
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Bubba tells his friends all about his new Thermos Jug.
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold".
“So what do you have in there?” They want to know.
"Hot stew and iced tea."
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This hillbilly is traveling down the road when a highway
patrolman pulls him over.
"You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asks.
"Bout what?" the hillbilly replies.
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My boss says he's going to fire the employee with the worst
posture.
I've got a hunch it might be me.
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Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on the broom.
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