Here's a joke for you:


Laughter is the best medicine!

Unless you're treating diarrhea.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

I don't get it. Does that mean I'm stupid?

I'm afraid it does.
It's just a joke, after all. It's not the KFC's secret chicken recipe.
Being stupid, not getting jokes, is caused by a number of things.
Not paying attention.
If you weren't listening, just say so. But remember, a joke only lasts a minute or two. Sometimes even less.
Surely your attention span is longer than that.
You're just not thinking.
Where did he say the salesman was from? How many chickens were there? What color were the lady's eyes? Were you listening to the details of the joke?
I hate to tell you this, but one of the BEST things about jokes is the kick I get when people don't get it.
Maybe I'm being a little harsh.
Maybe the joke references things that you just simply aren't familiar to you.
But, then again, maybe your problem is that you think that jokes are simple and stupid.
They're not.
Jokes are very intelligent, and they make a powerful comment on culture and society.
A famous philosopher once said that a workable life philosophy could be composed entirely of jokes.
Pay attention.
Think about it.
Work it over in your head.
Realize that the joke teller is TRYING to be funny.
If all else fails.
Ask somebody to explain it to you.
But remember:
Jokes lose EVERYTHING when someone has to explain why they're funny.

Don't tempt me.

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, “I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would"

Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Deep End: Boxing Bias

The Deep End: Boxing Bias

We need some new jokes!

Bob and Jim walk into a bar.
Bob says, "Hey Donkeyboy, get me a drink."
The bartender gets him a drink.
Bob says, "Donkeyboy, get me another drink."
The bartender gets him another drink.
Finally, Jim asks the bartender, "Why does he call you Donkeyboy?"
"I don't know. Hehaw-hehaw-he always calls me that."

One Thanksgiving, two friends were walking down main street when a man comes up to one of them and gives him a turkey and says, "Happy Thanksgiving!"
Without hesitation the other friend punches him in the face and knocks him out. The friend holding the turkey said, "why did you punch that nice man?
The second friend said, "He gave you the bird!"

Last night me and my wife watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the television.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Join us on the new facebook page:

I'm putting up a lot of jokes over on the Facebook page.
You Must Be Joking
We're having lots of fun there, so you wouldn't want to miss that.
By the way,
PLEASE SHARE SOME JOKES if you know any good ones.
Any funny joke telling experiences? Jokes that bombed?
Share that too.
In the mean time,
Here's a cartoon from my favorite artist:

Tyson Cole

The Deep End

Monday, June 9, 2014

Thought for the day:

Bill gets called into the manager’s office. The boss asks him to sit down.
“Bill,” he says, “We both know you’re not the brightest spark here, but over the past five years you’ve never been late or sick even one time, and I think you deserve a reward. So, how does a new car sound?”
Bill shrugged his shoulders and said, “Vrooom! Vrooooom!”


My wife: I fell into a large vat of milk today and almost drowned!
Me: Pasteurized?
My wife: No, just up to my neck.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Here's some new jokes

For your browsing approval:

A young farm boy at a dance was trying to make conversation with his dancing partner:
            “You know, you look like Helen Brown”. He commented.
            “I know”, she answered sadly. “And I don’t look so good in yellow either.”

Two old ladies wait at a bus stop.
A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the ladies leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry."
The other lady leans inside and asks, "How about ME?"

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down.
You'll just have to be a little patient."

New Happenings

Things are happening with my Joke Telling project again.
I've noticed there are enough jokes on this blog.
That'a going to change.
I'm getting ready to publish a large collection of jokes with instructions on how to tell a joke.
Stay tuned.
In the meantime:

A young man was bragging to a friend.
“Hey, guess what! I just got engaged to a girl over in Centerville!”
“That’s great!” replied the friend. “What wait a minute, aren’t you engaged to a girl from Farmington?”
“That’s right, I am!” beamed the young man.
“Hang on a minute, how can you be engaged to two girls in two different towns?”
The young man smiled confidently. “I’ve got a bicycle.”