Here's a joke for you:


Laughter is the best medicine!

Unless you're treating diarrhea.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Start a collection

You want to tell better jokes, but how many jokes do you know? Sometimes it’s frustrating when people are telling jokes, and you can’t remember your favorite jokes. Don’t worry, we all get stumped sometimes when it’s time to tell jokes. You’ll never memorize every joke you hear.

So go get some jokes, and then learn them. Where will you find your jokes? Don’t people tell you jokes? Pay attention when you hear jokes. Write them down. You think you’ll remember the jokes you hear, and you’ll be able to recite them on demand when the opportunity arises, but it will never happen. You’ll forget. Write them down.

A second good place to find jokes is in a book store or library. Yes, there are many joke books available. Sadly, they are mostly full of really bad jokes. But if you’ll take the time to carefully study these books, you’ll find a treasure of funny jokes, and some potentially funny jokes that just need a little re-working. Remember EACH joke you find that is a good joke, is a treasure.

Remember, MOST of the jokes you find will be really bad.

And finally, you can find jokes on the internet. Still, most of the jokes on the internet will be really bad, but there will be LOTS and LOTS of jokes on the internet. As with everything else, you’ll find great treasures of jokes on Facebook and Twitter.

Now organize your jokes. Put the jokes about mothers together. Put the short ones together. Keep them in a file. Keep them in a notebook. When you’re out and about with friends or family, transfer some of your favorite jokes, or jokes you’ve been practicing, onto some recipe cards.

Recipe cards? Absolutely. Be prepared. Practice. The appearance that the jokes flow from the top of your head will come with time.

Here’s a joke for your collection:

One day a reporter visited the prison. The warden showed him around and then took him to the dayroom where guys were gathered. They were sitting around, taking turns talking.

The first guy gets up and says, “32.”  All the guys laugh.
The next guy stands up and says, “16.”   The men laugh harder.
A third man gets up and says, “49.”  They laugh hardest.
"What gives?", the reporter asks.
The warden explained that there was only one book at the prision. It was a joke book. People had read it so often that they memorized each joke on each page and now all they have to do is recite the page number. The men remember the joke and then they laugh.
The reporter nodded and walked up to the men and said: “4.”   No laughs.
He tries again: “26.”    Silence.
The reporter is stumped. He turns to the warden with an embarrassed shrug.
The warden said: “Well, some guys can tell a joke and some guyscan’t.”