Mormons! (don't be offended)

A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits."
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ...”

A man calls the front desk from room 1248 in a hotel. He asks to be transferred to maintenance.
“What’s the problem there?” asks the clerk.
“My wife has gone berserk and is threatening to jump out the window.”
The clerk tells him that this is a police matter, not a maintenance issue.
“Well, she can’t get the window open, and that’s a maintenance problem.”

“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”